


A Slip of the Tongue [Newt Scamander x Reader Imagine]

by TechnoFay



Series: Words, Words, Words [1]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Awkwardness, F/M, Freudian Elements, Humor, Humorous Ending, Inappropriate Humor, Newt Scamander is a Dork, Non-Canon Relationship, Oops, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Sexual Humor, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 18:25:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9397505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TechnoFay/pseuds/TechnoFay
Summary: A little fic based off of a Tumblr post~ Newt ends up making a rather interesting Freudian slip...





	

Evening had arrived and you sat at the tiny table inside Newt's shack, watching him with apprehension as he cooked. Normally, you had no qualms with his cooking as he did an excellent job, but given his work took precedence over most everything, his focus was divided tonight. Newt was busy muttering to himself under his breath and tossing spices into the pot while still scribbling in his notebook, only stopping to place his quill in his mouth to stir the stew.

Multiple failed attempts were made for you to take over this shift since he was driven to finish the entry he was working on, but he insisted as it was his turn, namely for the fact you had cooked all the previous week, Newt failing to realize as such until you pointed it out in jest. You heard something about “Mooncalves” and “dung collecting” as he mumbled, wrinkling your nose in disgust.

“Hopefully neither of those is part of the recipe. Next you'll be telling me in great detail about the mating habits of the Erumpents over dinner,” you teased, knowing full well that talking to him while he was engrossed in his work seldom had much effect, but he heard you and replied nonetheless.

“And there would be much detail as I know a great deal about mating,” Newt quipped, his nose still buried in his work, popping the quill into his mouth to stir the pot, then returned to writing without missing a beat.

After the initial shock wore off, you stifled a delayed snort and covered your mouth. It was such an oddly _lewd_ thing for him to say and - given he was obviously still distracted - you wondered if perhaps there was some way to use it to your advantage; rare as it was to one up him, it would be a shame to waste the opportunity.

“I-is that so? Um... I'm sure that would be enjoyable,” you replied nonchalantly, your cheeks tinting at the notion, but the risk was well worth the reward.

“Oh, from what I gather of the behavior of Erumpents, I should think mating would be a most enjoyable thing–” Newt's words faltered and he froze, his hand holding one of the many unmarked spice containers he had littering the shelves. His mind finally processing everything that had been said between you, his face lit up in a brilliant shade of red, freckles all but disappearing as you attempted -poorly- to bite your tongue to keep from laughing.

“Oh dear... umm... that's not what I intended,” he said in a soft voice, hiding his face from you as you rose, still snickering and stepped closer to him to tap lightly on his shoulder. You spoke to him as he resumed cooking, noting in delight that his ears had managed to take the same shade as his cheeks.

“It's alright Newt. Uh... actually... I don't mi–”

_**FWHOOMP!** _

You were cut off by a loud chemical reaction as Newt dumped the mystery spice into the pot as you spoke. As soon as the spice hit the surface of the stew, there was an explosion, steam boiling over and made you both recoil from the heat. The bottom of the pot was rapidly dissolving, the now bright orange substance within eating away at the stove and floorboard beneath it in a matter of seconds. Both of you acted quickly, whipping out your wands and dissipating the mess before going to put out the small fires that had started under what remained of the stove.

Looking at one another in disbelief, your gaze fell to the spice jar in Newt's hand.

“Well... this is certainly not pepper,” Newt stated, placing the container back on the shelf and began cleaning up the mess he had made. Recovering slightly from the shock, you blew out a breath, combing your mussed up hair back with one hand.

“I should think it'll be for the greater good to ban you from the kitchen,” you snickered, dousing the last of the embers and erasing the scorch marks left behind with your wand before stowing it away. Newt sent you an exasperated look as he repaired the stove and summoned a new pot.

“Very funny... it's not like I did that on purpose...” he griped before turning his blue gaze to you, a gleam in his eye that made you uneasy.

“Now, what was it you were saying before this little fiasco? It sounded quite important,” Newt inquired, raising his brows in a manner that told you he thought he had the upper hand. You jumped and immediately dodged the question, realizing the implications behind your response would only bring more questions; questions you didn't want to answer yet.

“Umm... it was nothing, come on. Let's just go get some dinner from the diner up the street so we don’t have to start over,” you suggested, your voice quivering slightly and doing you no favors in fooling Newt. He watched you hurry towards the stairs, leaving the subject be as there was a good chance you would just bring up what he had said again... or the fact that he about blew up both of you as well as the kitchen.

Newt took one last glance to the stove before he went up after you and frowned; maybe it was time to finally organize those shelves...

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, feedback is always welcome~


End file.
